Hillsong's Desert Song: “All of my life. In every season. You are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.”
These lyrics have long served as my testament of His faithfulness in the tough times and my humbling reminder of His mercy in the good seasons (and my inspiration for my future tattoo if I ever get the guts, which we all know will never happen).
Yesterday, in a moment of need, I searched YouTube for this song to calm my heart. Instead, the Lord wanted me to find this…
I mean, wow. This woman has experienced the deepest kind of loss. I can't even begin to imagine the darkness she was facing and the emptiness she felt. And yet she stood there and sang praises to God. She says “I know in my circumstance, in this season- it doesn't change that God is still God…I think that you look at God and say, ‘I know this is who You are…' and He does get bigger in your life. It takes over the things in you that feel so shattered. And it makes Him the focus, and it begins to put those things back together.”
This video called me out in all the right ways.
With health failures and overwhelming decisions, with unfair circumstances for the people I love most, I've been lost in it all. I've allowed my fleshly troubles to consume my heart.
I've fallen so deep that I've lost sight. I've let the evils blind me from the truth I know so well: every trial is an opportunity. To know Him better. To love Him better.
Daniel shows us that in the lion's den. Jeremiah shows us that in the slimy pit. And Paul shows us that in his recurrent shipwrecks. God could have saved these men from these troubles. He could have so easily rescued them from these circumstances. But He didn't. He let those problems happen because He knew they were necessary to draw them each closer to His glory.
I know this. I know this truth and I believe it with all my heart. He's proven it to me in the past and I have all the faith that He will someday reveal the purpose of this one as well.
But Jill's story really convicted me to dig deeper than that. To not just say “God, carry me through this and reveal Your purpose in it.” To not just pray for His strength, wish it to pass, and keep the faith. But to truly glorify His name in it all.
I've asked the Lord to take it all from me instead of praising Him for giving it all to me.
Although hindsight is when we are always able to see how He used the fire to refine us, we are failing our faith if we wait for that clarity.
I don't want to wait for the reveal. I don't want to wait to be refined. I want to be more like Jill – to praise Him in the storm. To face it all with gratitude and grace. To sing His praises in my broken, shattered state too.
So God, thank you. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for the stress. Thank you for the chaos. Not just because I know You will redeem, but because I believe Your goodness even if you don't. I will praise You in the waiting. I will sing Your name in the fire. Amidst unfavorable circumstances or painful flames, You are good. Good golly, You are good.